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Parenting dilemma: I feel guilty about my regular business trips

Categories: Money & work, Parenting dilemmas

Q: I have just got a new job and it is the job of my dreams. It pays extremely well, offers flexible working and is pretty much on my doorstep. The only problem is I have to go away on business for four days every month. I feel consumed with guilt and am scared I am going to upset my 20-month-old son by not being there. My husband has a 9-5 job and will be with our son every evening after nursery and every morning when he wakes up. Am I just being silly?

A: It is totally understandable for you to be worried about leaving your son, even if he is in the care of his father and safe and sound at home.

Leaving your child for any length of time can be very difficult, but keep in mind your reasons for doing so. Money does not grow on trees and if this time away has to be a part of an otherwise perfect job, there is nothing to feel guilty about.

With regard to upsetting your little boy, you will probably need to brace yourself for some tears (yours and his) when you leave for your business trip, but your days away will soon become a part of your son's routine.

At 20 months, he understands more than you may realise, so make sure you take the time to sit down with him and explain that Mummy is going on a very important trip for a few days, but Daddy will always be here to look after him. Make sure you tell him how much you will miss him, but you won't be away for long and will soon be back safe and sound.

However, when it comes to physically leaving the house, try not to make too much of a big deal of the situation. The more upset you are, the more upset your son will be. So try and keep positive and make it seem as though it's just a normal part of life.

It would probably be a good idea for your husband to explain to your son that once Mummy is away on her trip, it is Daddy's time and boys only for the days you are away. Perhaps your husband could indulge in a few boys' only activities such as football or playing with trucks and engines with lots of banging, crashing and boyish fun!

Finally, there may be tears to mop and there is no denying you will miss each other, but keep in mind the positives of the situation and all three of you will soon become accustomed to the new routine.

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