Q: We are pulling out all the stops for my son's first birthday and are having a party at a venue with a clown, face painter, magician and catering. I have sent invites to people I thought were my parenting friends, but some of them are accusing me of being overly competitive and wasting my money on a day my son won't remember. I am very hurt by this. Before I sent the invitations, I didn't even mention my plans as I agree there is nothing worse than a competitive mother! Maybe I should have just stuck to the garden?

A: The quick answer to this is no - if a big party is what you really want, then that is your business. If your financial situation allows it and you are willing to spend quite a lot of money on the day, then why not?

It is probably fair to say that your son is unlikely to remember the day, but he is certainly old enough to enjoy the surprises you have lined up, so it's not a wasted effort - especially when you see his smiling happy face when the big day arrives.

With regard to your friends, clearly they are not particularly good friends if they are rude enough to make comments like this to your face. But do bear in mind that this is usually said through jealously and resentment. So you need to decide whether or not you still wish them to attend.

That said, your son will miss his little friends if you do withdraw the adults' invitations. Perhaps it may be a good idea to go ahead with the original guest list, and then decide how you wish to progress your friendship with these particular individuals after the event.

In the meantime, try not to let this negativity upset you too much. Your son will only turn one once, and this is a big moment in his life and yours. So, don't let anyone spoil it for any of you. Have the day you want, look forward to it and, most importantly, enjoy!

How did you celebrate your child's first birthday?