The other day on Twitter a link made the rounds. It was incredibly moving and is a required read. That was a hint. You have to go read it now. I'll wait.

We wish for nothing more for our children than for them to be happy. That mother's anguish and anger at unthinking bigots who prevented that one small and very simple wish from even getting started is one I think we can all understand. I don't think there's a parent around who could read that and not be moved.

I have had friends who are gay ever since I can remember. In fact, one of my best friends when I was 10 more than likely grew up to be gay. He was very effeminate and I was a tomboy. We played with my dolls and climbed trees. He was the only boy in our gymnastics class, for which he wasn't teased at all. He was, however, teased at school. I even remember one of the teachers laughing along with some of the teasing and I still remember the look on my friend's face to this day. It was the kind of sadness that a 10 year old should never be forced to feel.

When I had my first son, the thought of "what will I do if he's gay?" most definitely popped into my head. I, of course, have absolutely no problem with anyone being gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgendered... but I do know the rest of the world isn't so kind. I figured that the best thing I could do for him is to be open with and accepting of him. I wanted him to feel that he could tell me anything. I also made a point of letting him know I disapproved of bigotry in any form. I imagine there can be nothing worse for a gay child growing up in a household where his parents laugh at or heap scorn on gay people. The child must grow up feeling deep down that his parents will never love him.

It only took about five years before I was pretty sure my son was straight. He started fancying women around then and, well, he's 13 now and let's just say that his love of women has grown stronger by the year. And yet he's grown up in a household which treats everyone as equals. He isn't uncomfortable with the idea of "gayness" at all. I hope it will mean that he grows into a man who is completely relaxed about his sexuality.

A few years ago he had a friend over and I heard the friend say that something was "gay". Soon I heard my son repeating it. I burst into my son's room and gave them an earful. I explained that a lot of my close friends are gay and for them to be using the term in a negative way offended and upset me cos my friends are awesome! I told my son's friend that I never wanted to hear him use the word gay in a negative way again or he wouldn't be allowed in my house. I never heard him say it again.

My son's nanny was – well, she still is – a lesbian and, though it was never directly spoken about in the same way that my sexuality isn't spoken about, his nanny regularly had her girlfriend around. He loved hanging out with them, playing football or skateboarding. It was only a couple years ago that I told him outright that his old nanny was a lesbian. He looked at me then this big smile of recognition spread across his face. "Oh! So that's why we always did stuff with Marlene! Cool" And that was that.

If your daughter is a tomboy or your son prefers dolls to cars, it's not a certainty that they will grow up gay or lesbian... just as if your daughter is girly and your son is mad about football that it's not a certainty that they will grow up straight.

If you want your child to grow up to be happy, as I know you do, ban all negative talk about homosexuality from your house immediately. Studies have shown that lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgendered young adults "who reported higher levels of family rejection during adolescence were 8.4 times more likely to report having attempted suicide (40.6% of the young adults in the study had at least one suicide attempt), 5.9 times more likely to report high levels of depression, 3.4 times more likely to use illegal drugs, and 3.4 times more likely to report having engaged in unprotected sexual intercourse compared with peers from families that reported no or low levels of family rejection." That pretty damning of bigotry in the home.

For more information
Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays
Channel 4's Parents of Gay Children
Gay Youth UK