What's your biggest challenge when it comes to family life? Send your questions and dilemmas to experienced life coach Joanne Mallon via this confidential form. Your name can be changed on request.

Sair writes:

My daughter is 12 months old next month and still not sleeping through the
night. Unfortunately she is still in our bedroom as her older brother is in the
other room and we don't want to disturb his sleep.

She wakes about two or three times a night, and the last time is usually about 3ish, but she is awake screaming for about an hour. She won't have milk, just wants her dummy and to hold your hand. But I don't want to stay there for an hour holding hands as I'm worried she will need to hold hands every single time to go to sleep. Me and my hubby are now constantly snapping at each other as we are so tired. Would it be worth trying her in her brother's room or just check she's OK and then ignore? Please help!

Here's the life coach's reply:

Dear Sair

I'm not surprised you and your hubby are stressed, a year of getting up several times a night would try anybody's patience. Unfortunately it is not at all unusual for babies still to be waking up at night at a year, but hopefully you are nearer the end than the beginning of this situation.

What sort of daytime naps does your daughter have? Does she go to sleep easily and stay asleep for at least an hour? Sometimes when children have poor sleeping habits, it can be easier to start and look at the daytime sleeps first.

Yes I think it probably is a good idea to try your daughter in with her brother. At the moment you are assuming that she will disturb him, but this may not be the case. I have heard many parents talk with amazement about how the baby was screaming, but their older child slept on. Many children are not disturbed by crying babies in the same way their parents are, and you may be pleasantly surprised.

As to whether you should just leave your daughter to cry it out, only you can say if you feel up to trying this method. I don't think I could, though I did use controlled crying, which involves letting the child cry for progressively longer periods of time. You can find out more tips on controlled crying and other sleep methods here.

Hope this helps and good luck,

Joanne

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