What's your dilemma about any aspect of life as a parent? Our experienced life coach Joanne Mallon is here to answer your questions. Send your questions in here and say if you'd like your name to be changed.

Twin Mummy writes:

My twin girls are now seven months old and our issue is with dummies. The girls were quickly in an established routine as I also have a five-year-old. From around six weeks they would wake at around 2/3am for a feed and then that would be them down again to about 7am, which was fab. Around three months old, when they got up I gave them a dummy as they'd gone through the night a few times and I knew they weren't hungry any more. They also like to suggle in to their wee teddies at night so have these and the dummies!

The issue now is that we can be up about eight times a night (four times each baby) to put the dummies back in. My son never had a dummy and still has his blankie for sleeping. I want to go cold turkey and try controlled crying but with three kids in the house it's hard because you don't want to wake up everyone. My main concern is that we're establishing a sleeping pattern that means that they wake up many times a night and I don't want this. Is it the right thing to do, any other suggestions?

Here's the life coach's reply:
Dear Twin Mummy

This is a very common problem experienced by people who use dummies, and it's one of the reasons why some people choose not to use them. It takes quite a lot of manual dexterity to find the dummy, pick it up and put it in your mouth, so it's understandable that very young babies might not be able to manage this. There are dummy clips available to attach the dummy to a baby's clothing, but these are not generally recommended for use at night.

When my son was little and we had the same situation, I used to put him to bed with a dummy in each hand, and about half a dozen dummies placed near him, to make them easier to find. It didn't entirely eliminate the night waking, but it did cut it down a lot.

Controlled crying is only recommended after six months, so your babies are just about old enough to try it. There is really no such thing as the 'right' thing to do, only what's right for your family.

If you were to wait a few more months then you might find that your girls may start to sleep better naturally, or they may get better at retrieving their dummies. But in the wider context of your family, you may not want to wait so long. Controlled crying is not an easy option, but it does tend to work fairly quickly. The advantage of taking away the dummies now is that the babies will very soon forget that they ever had them. So stick with your instinct and trust that you will find your own best solution, and let us know how you get on.

Good luck,

Joanne

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