Ask Joanne - Anxious about starting school
Filed under: Primary School, Behaviour & development, Ask Joanne

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Cannice writes:
My daughter used to go to bed at 7-7.30 at night, but recently she won't go to bed and she fights going to sleep. She starts big school in September and she leaves nursery in 3 weeks' time. I am preparing her for big school, could that be it? And I cannot stop her having a bottle at night. I want dry nights. Help me .
Here's the life coach's reply:
Dear Cannice
Unless there are any other major changes hapening at home, then starting school is probably at the root of this. What exactly are you doing to get her ready? Her nursery will also be focusing on the move to big school, and I bet every person you meet asks her if she's looking forward to it. Sometimes I think children must be sick of hearing about school by the time they get there.
With so much change going on, it's not surprising that she's reacting in some way.
Given that she is behaving in a way that suggests she is not altogether happy, perhaps you could cut back on the references to school, and carry on as normal. Keep to your normal bedtime routine, and stay calm and firm.
The official advice is that children are supposed to move from a bottle to a beaker or cup at around 12 months, but of course many continue with a bedtime bottle for much longer than this. You could start thinking about moving to a night-time comfort object that is more appropriate for her age, but I agree with you that since she is already anxious then right now is probably not the best time to do it.
Please don't worry too much about dry nights - plenty of children start school without being dry at night and still wearing night nappies (experts estimate around one in seven). There's not much you can do about this unless your child is physically ready, and until you cut back a bit on her night-time drink it will be hard to tell. Perhaps you could still give the bottle but wth less milk in it and see if that makes a difference?
Once she starts school bedtimes will hopefully get much better. Children are often physically and mentally exhausted after a day at school and will conk out much more easily. Once this starts happening, then you might want to drop the bottle.
Good luck to you both
Joanne
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