Who would your child swap you for? Victoria Beckham or Marge Simpson
New research from Swapit, the UK's online swapping and trading community for young people, has revealed that more than half (53%) of British kids would consider swapping their family for a famous family – with the two most popular choices not even being real people but cartoons! The Simpsons came in first place, followed by the Griffins from American cartoon Family Guy. Thanks kids!
However, children of both sexes proved to have much stronger loyalty when it came to their pets, with 65% saying they wouldn't swap their pet for anything – sore news for parents considering 47% of kids said they'd swap their folks for one day with their favourite celeb.
So half the kids in Britain want to swap their family for a famous one?
Charming. We give them life and this is how they repay us.
Apparently the little darlings don't even want to replace us with real people. That I could just about understand - as children my cousins and I fleetingly contemplated swapping mums. But no, the nation's kids would rather The Simpsons in place of Mum and Dad.
Seriously? Some kids think Homer is an ideal male role model, and a better option than the average Dad?
Perhaps unsurprisingly, the Beckhams also ranked high on the list of ideal alternative families. I suspect those who responded were thinking about how much more pocket money they might score from a family swap, not what it's like to come home from school to find your Mum's in Paris this week and Milan the next, and thus not there to make you toast and help you with your homework.
Frankly I find all this a bit cheeky. Parents have a hard enough task on their hands without some survey encouraging children to think of us as commodities to be traded in for something 'better'.
To even the score, I contemplated how I might respond if I was asked which famous child I'd swap for my own offspring.
I think I'd happily take delivery of Suri Cruise, on the basis that she reportedly does lots of household chores.
She might even share her shoe allowance with me too, so I could shop for shoes while she dusts all the skirting boards and makes the beds.
I'd also consider one or two of Brad and Angelina's brood. I'd go for Shiloh so I could experience what it's like to have a daughter without the horror of turning the household pink.
Of course I'd be prepared to accommodate visits from the childrens' real parents. Particularly their fathers. I'm sure we'd need to pop out for a quiet drink together to discuss the new parenting arrangements. Perhaps the children could foot the bill and mop the kitchen floor while we're away.
65% of children said they'd swap their families but not their pets, so I'd get my own back by trading in my son's cat. I'd spend the cat food money on gin and chocolate, and if the new children wanted to show me their appreciation I'd allow them to buy me a small pony to replace the cat.
In case my children ever read this: I wouldn't really.
But if I ever catch you answering a survey about which famous mum you'd swap me for, you'd better come up with something more inspiring than Marge Simpson or Victoria Beckham.