Life with a family is full on. Whether you're a new mum with a tiny person or a seasoned pro with teens in tow, there are certain things that fill us with horror at the very thought. How many of these do you dread?
Oh no, here we go again...
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Queuing with the whole family at the post office
You have to send a parcel to your sister, so you and the kids are stuck in a 20-minute queue behind people getting passport applications checked and buying holiday insurance and there is no way you can stop your youngest pinging the barrier tape so the plastic bollard falls over and why didn’t you go to the toilet before you left the house?
Source: Getty -
Taking the kids for a haircut
You think you’re taking them for a quick trim so that they look less like mops on sticks. They think you are subjecting them to an extreme form of torture that involves pinioning their arms in a black plastic cape, attacking them with pointy scissors and showering them with needle-sharp bits of hair that get stuck underneath their T-shirts. Tears all round.
Source: Alamy -
Staying with grumpy relatives who disapprove of children
It’s not easy to spend 24 hours of every day on red alert in case one of your kids makes the sofa cushions look untidy/can’t finish up all the boiled cabbage/might knock over an ornament/drops a biscuit/chases the cat/wants to watch TV/won’t go to bed at 6pm/doesn’t like going for a walk…
Source: Alamy -
A trip to the dentist
It’s the first week of the summer holidays, and the waiting room is packed with kids sliding off chairs and tapping the tropical fish tank. Another family has monopolised the ancient Duplo set, so you (unsuccessfully) try to distract your lot by counting eight-inch stilettos in battered copies of Heat. But all of you can hear the high-pitched whine of the drill…
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Being stuck in a three-hour traffic jam on the motorway
Your five-year-old wants the loo, the litre bottle of water was finished hours ago, the story tape’s jammed, there’s a man with his window open in the next lane thumping out rap, it’s so hot your thighs are sticking to the seat, the baby’s crying – and your two-year-old is sick all over her favourite teddy…
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Christmas
Not the wonderful day of family celebration, obviously, but the mad build-up of preparation the month before – present-buying, turkey-sourcing, house-cleaning (because Granny’s coming to stay), costume-making (for the nativity play), Christmas-card-sending, tree-buying and food-shopping. Is it possible to feel any more tired?
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Shopping for school shoes
It’s not such a surprise, is it, that every single mother in the UK is trying to buy dull and boring regulation school shoes in August because she forgot to do it before they went on holiday, so why has the shop only got three sizes left in stock, in pink patent leather, with glittery buckles and purple feathers?
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Taking the car to the garage for its annual MOT
Because you have to call in favours from anyone you’ve ever met so that your offspring can be picked up from football and netball and martial arts and recorder club – while, in the meantime, you stagger home from Sainsbury’s on the bus with six carrier bags and a jumbo pack of special offer toilet rolls
Source: PA -
Your cousin's wedding
Yes, it’s magical, glorious and blissfully romantic – but you’re tensed for all the terrible mayhem your kids are about to unleash on the unsuspecting guests (knocking over flower arrangements, drowning out vows with sudden piercing wails, upending bottles of champagne). It’s the happiest day of her life – and the longest one of yours…
Source: Rex -
Packing to go on holiday
Because your toddler is right behind you taking out everything you’ve just put in, and because you’ve forgotten what’s at the bottom of the suitcase owing to the fact that you’ve spent the past five minutes trying to stop Voldemort killing Harry Potter with the cardboard tube from a packet of tin foil.
Source: Rex -
A family bout of gastro-enteritis
You’ve gone through every set of sheets in the house, no one has slept for three days, the baby’s still got a temperature, there’s not even a cream cracker left in the cupboard , and you’re tempted to give up any attempt at behaving normally and just put a communal sick bucket in the middle of the kitchen floor…
Source: Rex -
Having a birthday party at home
Because a) someone’s always sick on the carpet b) nobody likes what’s in their party bags c) there’s birthday cake ground into the stairs d) no one will pass the parcel e) there’s always someone small with a loud voice saying they don’t like what’s in the sandwiches and f) your other kids, feeling left out and overlooked, start behaving extremely badly…
Source: Rex -
Going for a walk
It’s a lovely day. Everyone’s been stuck in the house since breakfast. Let’s go for a walk, you say, and get a bit of fresh air. Half an hour later, you wish you hadn’t bothered. (I can’t walk any more, my legs don’t work, I’m tired, I’m hungry, I’m thirsty, I’m bored, when are we going home, carry me, carry me, why won’t you carry me…)
Source: Rex -
Staying with relatives who disapprove of children
It’s not easy to spend 24 hours of every day on red alert in case one of your kids makes the sofa cushions look untidy/can’t finish up all the boiled cabbage/might knock over an ornament/drops a biscuit/chases the cat/wants to watch TV/won’t go to bed at 6pm/doesn’t like going for a walk…
Source: Alamy -
Going on a long train journey
Because there’s someone swearing into his mobile (‘What’s that word mean, Mummy?), because you wouldn’t buy them Coke and chocolate when the trolley came round, because they need the toilet, because the elderly woman in the corner is looking at you with disapproval, and because you can’t find the tickets when the inspector is standing there glaring at you
Source: Alamy -
Visiting family friends whose kids are much older/younger
Because of the complaints from your ten-year-old all the way there (it’s so boring, there’s nothing to do, you just sit there eating lunch all afternoon, they don’t have Nintendo/X-box/Wii, their dog smells, I hate their house) and all the way back (I told you it would be boring, I never want to go there again, I’m hungry, I’m thirsty, how long till we get back home?)
Source: Alamy
Tags: chirstmas, dentist, dreaded family events, family car, family car journey, family events, family holidays, family illness, hair cut, mum, packing, parenting, post office, relationships, shopping, travelling with children, wedding