Stroppy teens who answer back turn into nicer adults, says research
Filed under: Teenagers
Rex
The next time you feel the urge to say to your teen: "Don't you DARE speak to me in that tone of voice, my girl, or you're GROUNDED" – resist it!
Because answering back is actually doing your angsty son or daughter a favour.
According to research, argumentative teenagers fare better in adulthood than those who are more placid.
The logic goes that arguing gives teenagers confidence and negotiating skills.
And those who regularly fight verbally with their parents cope better with peer pressure and are less likely to abuse drugs or alcohol.
They are also more skilled negotiators and can "learn to be taken more seriously" after some verbal jousting with their elders.
The study, in the U.S. Child Development Journal, concluded that parents should consider actively starting rows with their teenagers just to hone their youngsters' skills – even if it does result in an ear-bashing in the short term.
University of Virginia psychology professor Joseph Allen, lead author of the study, said: "It turns out that what goes on in the family is actually a training ground for teens in terms of how to negotiate with other people."
And so, to non-scientifically test this scientific study, I ran the theory past my own Tween stepdaughter. Her response: "Oh per-lease. Get a life!"
More on Parentdish: Our must-read weekly column Surviving Teenagers
10 things to make you lose your cool with teenagers
- She had a few friends round<p> If it was just ‘a few’, why does the house look as if a bomb has hit it?</p>
- What's mine is yours<p> Your ‘borrowed’ T-shirt is found months later in a small dirty heap under her bed.</p>
- All the towels are dirty<p> Teenagers love clean towels. They also assume that there’s an invisible maid delivering fresh laundry every day.</p>
- The car has a dent in it<p> It’s not worth claiming on your insurance. So you’ll just have to put up with everyone thinking you’re the one who’s a rubbish driver.</p>
- There's nail varnish on the carpet<p> The logical place for her to paint her nails is, of course, the living room carpet, which now has a fuschia pink smudge right in the middle.</p>
- A chipped front tooth<p> You’ve spent fourteen years looking after his pearly whites (visits to the dentist, new toothbrushes, rationed sweets) - but today he forgot to wear his mouthguard …</p>
- The jar of coffee is out - again<p> You understand they’re permanently hungry. You’re resigned to getting through a loaf of bread every day. But why do they never, ever put anything away?</p>
- There's nothing in the fridge<p> Yesterday, every shelf was piled high. Today it’s nothing but a cold and empty space.</p>
- He's lost his phone - again<p> Why, when he spends his life texting, does he not take more care of his phone?</p>
- She had a few friends round<p> If it was just ‘a few’, why does the house look as if a bomb has hit it?</p>
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