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Mum of two and all round domestic goddess Nigella Lawson has spoken out about the never-ending guilt felt by parents.
Nigella, 52 is mum to Cosima, 18, and Bruno, 16, her children from her marriage to the late John Diamond, and step-mum to Phoebe, 17, her second husband Charles Saatchi's daughter.
Nigella told the Radio Times that motherhood brings a whole heap of guilt, anxiety and worry, not helped by the constant stream of ever-changing and conflicting parenting advice which is regularly dished out.
"People who don't have children imagine that their whole lives would be all right if they had children, but they don't realise that having children gives you lots of problems; one is constantly worried," she told the magazine.
"Also I think it's impossible to be a mother without a huge sense of failure. Not that I think of my children as failures. I think they're wonderful. But one is always aware of what one isn't doing right.
"I was really helped by a friend recently because I was thinking, 'Oh, God, I'm not strict enough', and this friend said to me, 'look, Nigella, you don't choose whether to be a strict mother or not, you really are what you are. It's not a decision.'"
Nigella on set filming her new show Nigellissima. Pic: WENN
Nigella also told the magazine she was a 'pretty easy going' parent, but manners were non-negotiable with her teens:
"Although I'm pretty easy going about most things, I do think manners are important, and being kind. And they make me laugh, and that's quite important. So I like the people they are."
The queen of kitchen returns to the screen this month with her new show Nigellissima.
Do you agree the most important thing as a parent is to like the people your children are?
More words of wisdom on Parentdish:
Philippa Forrester: Mums are expected to look like Elle Macpherson, cook like Nigella and have perfect children - we can't do it!
Cherry Healey: My parenting style is just blagging it as I go along!
Why mothers are bored of ridiculous research and guilt-making headlines
Wise words on motherhood
- <p> “You’re not a mother until you’ve had nits.”</p> <p> <strong>TV star Coleen Nolan</strong></p>
- <p> “I was not a classic mother...I didn’t bake cookies. You can buy cookies, but you can’t buy love.”</p> <p> <strong>Actress Raquel Welch </strong> </p>
- <p> <strong><em>“</em></strong>Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shovelling the walk before it stops snowing.”</p> <p> <strong>Actress Phyllis Diller</strong></p>
- <p> “Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he is buying.”</p> <p> <strong>Author Fran Lebowitz</strong></p>
- <p> “Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside.”</p> <p> <strong>Comedienne Rita Rudner</strong></p>
- <p> “Having a baby is like watching two very inefficient removal men trying to get a very large sofa through a very small doorway, only in this case you can't say, 'Oh, sod it, bring it through the French windows.'"</p> <p> <strong>Comedienne Victoria Wood</strong></p>
- <p> “You can’t qualify in the subject but you’re expected to have a vast number of qualifications: chauffer, diplomat, vet, clown, Blue Peter presenter, chef, paramedic, critic, referee, weapons inspector, therapist, computer expert, liar.”</p> <p> <strong>Actress Imogen Stubbs</strong></p>
- <p> “A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie.<strong>"</strong></p> <p> <strong>Author </strong><strong>Tenneva Jordan </strong></p>
- <p> "The first time you leave your child at school you're faced with a tough decision - down the pub or back to bed?”</p> <p> <strong>Comedienne Jo Brand</strong></p>
- <p> "There never was a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him asleep.” </p> <p> <strong>Poet Ralph Waldo Emerson</strong></p>
- <p> “A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child."</p> <p> <strong>Actress Sophia Loren </strong></p>
- <p> "Any mother could perform the jobs of several air-traffic controllers with ease."</p> <p> <strong>American writer Lisa Alther</strong></p>
- <p> “Nothing will ever make you as happy or sad, as proud or as tired as motherhood.”</p> <p> <strong>Author Elia Parsons</strong></p>
- <p> "A mother “is a nutritionist, a child psychologist, an engineer, a production manager, an expert buyer, all in one.”</p> <p> <strong>Anthropologist Margaret Mead </strong></p>
- <p> “Motherhood is “having someone else to blame when there is a rude smell in the air.”</p> <p> <strong>Actress Jane Horrocks</strong></p>
- <p> “You know you really are a mother when: you use your own saliva to clean your child's face; your child throws up and you catch it.”</p> <p> <strong>Humorist Erma Bombeck</strong></p>
- <p> “The story of a mother’s life: Trapped between a scream and a hug.”</p> <p> <strong>Cartoonist</strong><strong> Cathy Guisewite</strong></p>
- <p> “Motherhood is not for the fainthearted. Frogs, skinned knees, and the insults of teenage girls are not meant for the wimpy.”</p> <p> <strong>Author Danielle Steel</strong></p>
- <p> “Never being number one in your list of priorities and not minding at all.”</p> <p> <strong>Model and designer Jasmine Guinness</strong></p>
- <p> “Everybody wants to save the earth; nobody wants to help mom with the dishes.”</p> <p> <strong>Writer P.J. O’Rourke </strong></p>
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