St James's Palace has confirmed the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge are expecting their first baby
. Kate is three months pregnant.
So why don't we pass the next six months debating what the next teensy-weensy royal might be called? I mean, we're all going to have an opinion on it, aren't we?
It's no easy task naming a child
. And a royal child? Oh my.
If William and Kate stick to recent Mountbatten-Windsor tradition, their baby will need no less than four names – if it's a boy anyway. Daddy is William Arthur Philip Louis. Uncle Harry is actually Henry Charles Albert David. And grandad is Charles Philip Arthur George. I'm sure there's some sort of code in there, in terms of who gets to share a name with who.
If they have a little girl, and they're sticking with the tradition of name re-cycling (is it done to save energy?), then they're bound to pick at least one of great grandmama's – Elizabeth? Alexandra? Mary?
Naturally, odds will be on Diana
featuring somewhere, should they have a little girl, and of course the nation would be ecstatic over that. But what of Kate's family? Surely she'll be allowed to pluck something from her own (slightly less illustrious) lineage?
Her father is a Michael. This might work well. It's a good and stable sort of name – not eccentric, but not overly stuffy either. Her mother is a Carole – hmm, I might be wrong, but even with the added 'e' on the end it doesn't sound quite royal enough.
Well let's have a dig through grandparents and great grandparents then: There's an Olive (maybe) and Noel (not a hope, anyone remember the stories about Gallagher snubbing the Queen and – THE HORROR! – taking cocaine in the Royal Toilet at No 10?). A Peter? Got one of those already with Peter Phillips. Or a Valerie? Val? Doubt it. Hmm.
Ronald? No, it makes me think of the children's book Paper Bag Princess
, where he ends up being called a bum. Dorothy then? Nope. I quite like the name actually, but surely, you say 'Dot' you think 'Cotton'. Ah! Kate's great grandmother: Elizabeth! There must be something in that.
Do we think Kate and William will be so traditional as to use the names of their predecessors? Perhaps His Royal Highness's culture is so unbending that it will definitely be so. Yet, I'd like to think our modern royals could throw caution to the wind a little bit; naming your baby is one of the most creative things you ever do – it would be such a shame if history were to restrict them too much.
Maybe they could retain the tradition of very, very long names – but get a bit creative with what the names actually are. Uma Thurman
could offer some inspiration – she had a baby girl in July of this year and just last month announced her daughter's full name: Rosalind Arusha Arkadina Altalune Florence Thurman-Busson. It's little wonder it took three months.
As much as I like the idea of future headlines featuring His Royal Highness Prince Rocky, or Her Royal Highness Princess Sparrow, I feel it's unlikely The Duchess of Cambridge will be quite so bonkers as to follow in the footsteps of the likes of Sarah Michelle Gellar or Nicole Ritchie.
That said, some of the more peripheral royals have names that are at least a little off the wall. Eugenie, for example – although named after a royal herself (one of Queen Victoria's granddaughters) her name remains rather unusual, as does Zara (if you don't count the international clothing brand).
So perhaps Prince William and The Duchess of Cambridge will surprise us – you know, mix it up a bit. How about Michael William Tiger Philip? Or Olive Elizabeth Poppysocks Mary?
If you were a thoroughly modern royal couple, what would you choose?
More on Parentdish: Have fun search for a regal baby name with our brand new baby name generator.
<strong>April 2011: </strong>Just before their wedding, post-pregnancy rumour number one, a forensic artist produced this - what he claims <a href="http://www.parentdish.co.uk/2011/04/19/what-kate-middleton-and-prince-williams-children-will-look-like/" target="_blank">Kate and Wills' children will look like!</a> Scary stuff. </p>
<strong>April 2011:</strong> Prince William marries Kate Middleton in a <a href="http://www.parentdish.co.uk/2011/04/29/royal-wedding-kate-middleton-and-prince-william-are-married/" target="_blank">pageantry-filled ceremony in Westminster Abbey</a>, and the pregnancy rumour mill really gets going... </p>
<strong>November 2011: </strong>Star magazine in the US has been the source of several royal baby rumours since Kate and Wills tied the knot. They originally said Kate was expecting twins last November, and of course, she <a href="http://www.parentdish.co.uk/2011/09/08/kate-middleton-expecting-twins-pregnant-duchess-cambridge-prince-william/" target="_blank">was going to have one girl, and one boy... </a></p>
<strong>November 2011: </strong>When Kate <a href="http://www.parentdish.co.uk/2011/11/05/kate-middleton-pregnant-peanut-paste-riddle-means-more-baby-rum/" target="_blank">refused to try peanut paste</a> while visiting a UNICEF distribution centre, the pregnancy rumour mill went into overdrive, with various sources claiming she was expecting, and avoiding peanuts during her nine months...</p>
<strong>November 2011: </strong>A palace aide reportedly spoke to American website <a href="http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/45293558/ns/today-today_people/t/palace-source-kate-middleton-hopes-be-pregnant-soon/#.TsJKgkOXuso" target="_blank">E Entertainment</a> in November, claiming the Duchess was 'hoping to be pregnant soon'. However another 'source' completely dismissed the rumours!</p>
<strong>April 2012:</strong> The Duke and Duchess appear at a charity event...and <a href="http://www.parentdish.co.uk/2012/04/26/is-kate-middleton-broody-duke-and-duchess-of-cambridge-coo-over-baby/" target="_blank">coo over a very cute baby</a> in a Superman suit. </p>
<strong>May 2012:</strong> Prince William spoke out about all the baby rumours surrounding the couple in May, but also set another in motion, <a href="http://www.parentdish.co.uk/2012/05/30/prince-william-interview-i-am-very-keen-to-have-a-family-with-kate/" target="_blank">saying he was 'very keen' to start a family</a>, saying: "It is quite strange reading about it, but I try not to let it bother me. I'm very keen to have a family and both Catherine and I are looking forward to having a family in the future."</p>
<strong>July 2012:</strong> Historians guess an August 2013 baby for the Duke and Duchess. <a href="http://www.parentdish.co.uk/2012/07/06/historians-predict-an-august-baby-for-kate-middleton-prince-william-pregnant-duke-duchess-cambridge/" target="_blank">They trawled the royal records</a> to predict a summer baby for Kate and Wills. </p>
<strong>August 2012: </strong>The bets were on over the summer of 2012, with <a href="http://www.parentdish.co.uk/2012/08/10/kate-middleton-and-prince-william-baby-by-2013-pregnancy-rumours/" target="_blank">bookies estimating</a> the royal couple would welcome their first baby in 2013. The odds were slashed from 4/5 to 1/4 after several three-figure bets and one of £1,000 were placed. </p>
<strong>September 2012:</strong> After a public display of affection at the London Olympic Games, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge faced another pregnancy rumour. Star magazine AGAIN claimed Kate was pregnant, and that she was <a href="http://www.parentdish.co.uk/2012/09/07/kate-middleton-pregnant-with-a-baby-she-will-call-diana-claims-us-magazine/" target="_blank">planning on calling her first daughter Diana. </a></p>
<strong>September 2012: </strong>During a visit to Singapore, Prince William told school children he wanted to have <a href="http://www.parentdish.co.uk/2012/09/12/i-want-two-kids-with-kate-middleton-says-prince-william/" target="_blank">two children</a> with Kate (and the super power of invisibility!). </p>
<strong>September 2012:</strong> Star magazine got pretty desperate in September. They reportedly photo-shopped a bump onto a photo of Kate, and again, of course, claimed she was expecting twins. </p>
<strong>April 2011:</strong> Even before their marriage there were rumours of a royal pregnancy. A week before Kate and Wills tied the knot, <a href="http://www.parentdish.co.uk/2011/04/15/kate-middleton-pregnant/" target="_blank">a magazine in America claimed Kate was pregnant</a>, and that the couple would make the announcement after their honeymoon. </p>