Achtung Baby

Achtung Baby: It's goodbye from me and it's goodbye from her

By Suze Nowak, Jan 23, 2012

As a relatively inexperienced and amateur writer, I was elated to be given the chance by Parentdish to write a regular column. I grabbed that opportunity enthusiastically and began to share my thoughts and observations on living in a foreign country, learning a new language and the trials and tribulations of bringing up a bilingual child.

Achtung Baby: The perfect party guest

By Suze Nowak, Jan 15, 2012

Finje was one of three children at the party. The eldest, Thomas, a delightful young chap of 12, had, in anticipation of the hot tub, come prepared with swimming trunks.

Achtung Baby: Finding just the right word

By Suze Nowak, Jan 8, 2012

I believe there are two sections of society who find bodily functions, specifically the unexpected or indeed calculated breaking of wind, gut-bustingly funny: 1) Anybody under the age of 13 2) All men.

Achtung Baby: The snow dance

By Suze Nowak, Dec 25, 2011

Finally I managed to pacify and convince my daughter that Santa would definitely not be deterred from delivering presents by something so trivial as a lack of snow.

Achtung Baby: Chocolate overload

By Suze Nowak, Dec 18, 2011

The German word that encompasses all things tooth-rotting is "Süßigkeiten". One word covers the lot, chocolate, biscuits, lollies and sweets.

Achtung Baby: A gigantic mumfail

By Suze Nowak, Dec 11, 2011

Rex Features If you've ever made the howling mistake of Googling an affliction you've been suffering from and spent ...

Achtung Baby: Santa's spies

By Suze Nowak, Dec 4, 2011

I do wonder sometimes whether my daughter navigates her way through life using echo-location. It's the only possible reason I can come up with for her incessant babble. Perhaps if she stops, even for a second, she'll run into a wall.

Achtung Baby: Spoiling a sick child

By Suze Nowak, Nov 27, 2011

Last week Finje crawled into our bed at 3am and lay her sweaty, burning little body between me and my husband. After declaring herself "a bit poorly" she proceeded to sneeze a ball of radioactive looking snot over my favourite M & S pyjamas.

Achtung Baby or Channelling your inner child

By Suze Nowak, Nov 20, 2011

Finje is five. Should she chance upon a muddy puddle she can barely contain her desire to take a running jump with a two-footed landing, sole object to make the biggest splash possible.

Achtung Baby or Christmas in a shoebox

By Suze Nowak, Nov 13, 2011

Today I uttered words I swore I never would. They haunted me as a child, heard so often their meaning became numbed by repetition; "You madam, have no idea how lucky you are"

Achtung Baby or Turn that light off, polar bears are dying!

By Suze Nowak, Nov 6, 2011

Do we need all these lights on? It's like Blackpool illuminations in here! A complaint heard daily for the first decade of my life. Drove me insane. And guess what I said to my daughter last night.