Before you have kids, it's easy to frown disapprovingly on the mum in the supermarket handing her toddler a biscuit she hasn't paid for yet, just to keep him quiet. Or raise an eyebrow as your harassed friend gives her children alphabet spaghetti and plonks them in front of CBeebies. Or suck your cheeks in when your sister puts her baby girl in a hand-me-down blue babygro with a train on...
But you know what? It's a different story when they're your kids - and it's your sanity. Here are our favourite time and sanity saving tricks, and why taking them won't do your, or your children, any harm...
Before you have - Dummies are nothing to be ashamed of<p> They will not go on their first date with a dummy in their mouth. So relax, and if your auntie looks at you as if you have joined the circus, point out to her that the <a href="http://www.dh.gov.uk/en/index.htm" target="_blank">Department of Health </a>now tells us that ‘it is possible that using a dummy at the start of any sleep period reduces the risk of cot death’. So there.</p>
- Change the 3-second rule to the 3-minute rule<p> Let’s face it, if they eat the soil out of the garden and tuck into random things they find on the pavement, they can cope with whatever’s on your kitchen floor. And your floor is a lot cleaner than the pavement, isn’t it? ISN’T IT?</p>
- If it stops a tantrum, the lady at the checkout won't mind<p> If you don’t want to leave the supermarket with a pounding headache and a bagful of random items that won’t make a meal, sometimes you will need to open those Malted Milks before you get to the till. The general public will thank you for it.</p>
- The baby wipe is your best friend<p> Any self-respecting short-cutter will know that baby wipes are not merely for bottoms. They are for snot, dirty hands, eye makeup, carpet spills... oh and they make an excellent and cheap alternative to dry-cleaning.</p>
- Charity shops are as good as toy shops, if not better<p> Once you discover the joy of taking your kids to charity shops you will never look back. Toys, clothes, DVDs... They have a different range every visit, they are cheap as chips, they are ethically sound. What’s not to like?</p>
- Switching on CBeebies will not land you in jail<p> Nobody is suggesting you use Andy, Sid and the gang as your au-pairs... although wouldn’t that be nice? But if you have a can of alphabet spaghetti (or a bottle of wine) to open it might just shut them up for five minutes.</p>
- There is plenty of time for expensive haircuts<p> The day will come when they will want a ‘style’, just like we do. But until then, pack them off to the barber’s with your other half, or buy a pair of hairdressing scissors from the chemist.</p>
- If they don't like it, add ketchup<p> Not on absolutely everything - let’s draw the line at cereal. But if they are moaning about their dinner, and it will help it end up in their tummy rather than the bin, squirt on a bit of tomato sauce. Go on, you know you want to...</p>
- A little bribery goes a long way<p> ‘If you do this (good thing), you will get this (nice toy)’. ‘If you do this (bad thing) you will not get this (nice toy)’. Try looking after a two-year-old, then come back and tell us this didn’t help.</p>
- Life's too short for sewing on nametags<p> There is no place for chain-stitched initials on your children’s clothing. And in fact if you can’t even be bothered with a nametag, why not just get a heavy-duty pen and write their name on the washing instructions? Job done.</p>
- It is not 1972: you do not have to change nappies every half hour<p> When nappies consisted of an old towel, some pins and a pair of rubber pants it was prudent for the poor child’s comfort to change them as often as possible. These days nappies cost about a fiver each and are designed to stay on for longer than 30 minutes. Fact.</p>
- Food in tins, jars and packets will not kill them<p> Of course fresh, home cooked food is better. We all know that. But we are not machines. And if we get in late after being stuck in a traffic jam and have nothing else in the house, alphabet spaghetti will do just fine.</p>
- Doggy bags are not just for Americans<p> You’ve just spent a month’s salary on two kids’ menus in your favourite restaurant. One child is busy talking to a fellow Buzz Lightyear fan on another table, and the other has fallen asleep. You’ve paid for the food – now take it home.</p>
- Dry shampoo will buy you an extra hour a week<p> Mums don’t wash their hair every day. Well, none of the ones I know do. Thankfully, dry shampoo has made a comeback and it’s not the powder your granny used to use. Thank you, Batiste.</p>
- Babies do not care what colour their clothes are<p> If your little girl has just vomited and pooed herself through every pink item in the house, she will not develop ‘gender issues’ if you put her in that Bob the Builder babygro. It is clean, it is dry, it is therefore OK.</p>
