I am six!

Six is much much older than five. This is the oldest I've been in my whole entire life. I had a birthday party and next week I start big school.

My party was the best. I could choose six friends. Emily couldn't come though because she fell off her bike and now she has a fraction in her leg or something and is still in hospital. She'll be okay though.

Grandma and grandad came to the party too. I know I'm old now but they are really old. I asked grandma how old she was. She said "As old as my tongue and a little bit older than my teeth!" I didn't get that so I asked grandad instead. He said 79. Wow! I wonder if he started at 1. Sebastian said grandad looked 100, but I said he can't be 100 because that's when you die I think.

It seems like every little kid I know is having a birthday within the next month. What is it with all those June babes? Is there a power cut every Autumn that sparks off mass conception?

And with birthdays comes the inevitable round of birthday parties. And you can't have a party without a party bag. Well, you can, but you'll have trouble shifting the party-goers at the end, and they'll grumble about it.

So if you're looking for an alternative to the traditional party bag full of disposable plastic rubbish and sweets, here are some ideas:

My son turned 11-months-old yesterday. My first thought was, "Should I have a birthday party for him?" My second thought was, "No, please, please, please, I've got to go through all that 'birthday party hell' again?! Aaaaarrrrggghhh!"

My older son is now 13 and long past the kiddy birthday party stage. For his 13th birthday I sent him out for a posh dinner with a few of my male friends who welcomed him into manhood and gave him advice on everything from shaving to girls. It was, by all accounts, a good night and my son enjoyed it a lot.

When he was little, however, birthday parties - his own and his friends' - filled me with dread. I held a birthday party for him when he turned one, attended by my friends and their little ones, which was so lovely it lulled me into a false sense of security regarding parties. It was the last good experience I've had of children's birthday parties.

It was at the first birthday party my son attended, for one of his nursery school friends, when I learned that my son hated losing. His reaction to not pinning the tail on the donkey or not getting a seat during musical chairs wasn't just to utter a disappointed "awww" and sit down grumpily and watch the rest of the game... Nope. My son threw a huge, screaming, kicking, flailing tantrum, the likes of which I had never seen before. I remember the looks, the glares, the other mums gave me "Tsk, she doesn't know how to bring up her child properly." I had to take him upstairs and "talk him down" for about 20 minutes. When we finally got back downstairs and into the party room, he kicked a chair and screamed "I hate you!" at the kid who'd won.

After that, not only did I fear the games at birthday parties, but long after all the other mums were dropping their kids off and rushing to a local cafe for a 90 minute break, I was awkwardly telling the hosts that I'd "rather like to stay, if you don't mind". After their equally awkward reply of "Oh..? Well. OK!", I would help them out with the party until the inevitable loss at pass the parcel when I'd have to quickly remove my son from the room before he knocked over any chairs.

Now the children are back at school the birthday party invitations will soon start to stack up. But what do you do when it's your child's turn to throw a bash? You could, of course, go down the no party route and we've done that occasionally.

You could also hire an entertainer or visit a soft play place but to me they lack soul and, more importantly, are mighty expensive.

There comes a point in every child's life when they need to run around screaming with twelve friends in a draughty village hall playing pass the parcel and musical bumps.

I'm a veteran birthday-party thrower. There have been more than 30 (I've lost count) and I have the scars to prove it. Here's my light hearted look at the lessons I learned about throwing a traditional, thrifty party.

Party bags: you either love them or loathe them and I'm afraid I'm in the loathe camp.

They are a modern invention and, if you ask around, the scourge of parties. Parents dislike the extra expense while those whose children receive them inwardly sigh at more plastic rubbish coming into the house.

It is a brave parent who can buck the trend and perhaps, with the economy as it is, it might yet become a casualty. But until that moment it is possible to find a thrifty and green way around the party bag problem. Here are my best tips.